I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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