so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
