I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
