:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
