this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There r osticjed everywhere
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
