I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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