For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
