Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize