Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
