Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
