The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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