Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
