Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
