shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
BRING THE BAGELS
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
