the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
