i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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