I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
