ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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