I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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