She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
