At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
