direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize