oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I can tuck mytits in my pants
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
