Got a toothbrush?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
