I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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