Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
