so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
