I think I died a long time ago.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
