And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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