Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
