Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
