No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
