yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize