How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
