chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
