when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
