We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
