Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just high enough for therapy.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize