My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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