can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
