Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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