She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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