WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am one with the molecules
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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