I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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