So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just sucked dick on a ferry
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
