Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
