I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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