I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
