You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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