my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
