i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
