That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Farmville is her only friend.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
