If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
