There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
