i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
