Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize