Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
