in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
