Barsexuality is the new black.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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