People in love make me want to vomit
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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