You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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