the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
