i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
