I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
