Is it normal to miss your booty call?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
